Why you shouldn't celebrate what you do, Why you do, And what you should instead

Why you shouldn't celebrate what you do, 

Why you do, 

(And what you should instead)

I apologise for the long title, but it sums up this post quite nicely. So let's begin.

New Year's (Eve, Night, and/or Next Day)
This celebration is dedicated to the passage of time and the purest of annual celebrations - the very
...annual-ity...
of the year itself.
This celebration is irrational because of its placement in the year and its superfluous content.
1) Every celebratory festival is annual (not least of which the 'birthday') - we can define a year by memory of any one of these events. This celebration serves no purpose beyond any others.
2) The timing upon the 'last day of the last month/first day of the first month' of consecutive years is based purely upon the arbitrarily determined calendar.
2.1) There is no geological, social, vocational, meteorological, astronomical or naturally-founded difference between the day before and after this event. The only delineation between years is the calendar: A construct for bureaucratic regularity. Should we celebrate the 'Sign Here' stamp or the 'Middle name is initialised' convention?
2.2) The change from 31/12/00 to 1/1/01 (or 12/31/00 to 1/1/01 if you're American, etc) is only one of three components to celebrate. If we wish to celebrate the division of time, why not celebrate it 12 times a year, or 365 times (if not a leap year)? Sure, this is the only day that all three change, but I would think that a small quirk of a number progression would be more impressive at 1/1/11 or 2/1/12 and other palindromic sequences: but these aren't celebrated more than New Years!

Christmas (or Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, etc)
These celebrations are key religious rituals which occur annually, and as such have become prime candidates for culture-wide (and also culture-specific) acceptance as a public and marketed holiday.
These candidates are irrational because they don'e serve their two alleged purposes and the remaining purpose is somewhat insidious.
Purposes:
1) Historic celebration: None of these days coincides with the actual date of the celebrated occurrence. Jesus wasn't born on Christmas day, he was born months earlier. The day couldn't be celebrated even on that day, as it isn't well evidenced to be any one day (only evidence indicates a range of possible days). Hanukkah is an arbitrary placement of eight days to commemorate a series of eight days that may or may not have been important (depending on a miracle of slow-burning oil) at unknown time of the year. The rationale for Ramadan needs to be kept in summary - essentially, it is the stage in a lunar cycle, as determined by astronomy (not moon phases) at which point (or at some time during the MONTH of which) Muhammad may or may not have revealed the Torah to some or many people. Not wrote, revealed. And not to everyone, just some. And not the day, just some day in the month. Even though the month and year is not bound to the calendar, which is Gregorian. So it's a possible fuzzy line which probably doesn't coincide every year with an even which may not have happened. Kwanzaa is African-American black pride set for a week around the time of Christmas to be specifically different to 'white man' Christmas. Despite Jesus being a Middle-Eastern Jew killed by Mediterraneans born and living in conditions not dissimilar to African post-slavery Americanisation; Hence the black propensity to engage in 'Hillsong'. So no historic relation to time beyond the Christian celebration.
2) Religiosity: These days are supposed to enhance religiosity by reminding people of their obligations to the religion and gather them together with others in the religion. Like a cult annual get-together, but with less sacrificial slaughter... Well, some slaughter for the feasting (at the end, for Ramadan). OK - very much like a cult get-together. Either way, Christ wasn't born on Christmas, it wasn't in a manger, Kings (wise or otherwise) didn't hunt down a pregnant she-carpenter and Venus is always bright (in the mornings and evenings!). So you're reminding Christians that the folklore is tenuous by reminding them of the tenuous premises that didn't happen 2000 years ago (Jesus born around 23AD). Hanukkah is reminding people that they are in the religion to see less. Not reminding them of struggle like Passover or togetherness like all the other Rites, but 'special oil'. If there was anything to make the religion less impressive, they might have celebrated that instead. Ramadan isn't a celebration, it's a starvation in order to increase possibility of religious hallucination. This one is actually very good for the religion - trick them into doing it and they might see or hear something to keep them praying for life! Not great medically or rationally, though. How does starvation commemorate a book release? And Kwanzaa, again, is anti-religious. Probably alright for black pride for a while, but it has all but died now.
So 3) Publication of the religion and promotion of it into the community for acceptance, privileges and potential conversions!
Christmas = nativity scenes in shopping centres, carols ("Silent night, holy night..", etc) - why doesn't it make sense? Because of Santa, shopping/marketing, hats, bon-bons, hams (and other token 'xmas' foods), the name 'xmas', trees, baubles, tinsel, red-green combos, SANTA AGAIN, reindeer, snow themes, gingerbread architecture, and stockings. Jesus who? Therefore, fail.
Hanukkah = a candle in the window facing the street to promote Judaism. Why fail? No-one in the street knows that it does and few modern Jews care enough to put a fire hazard near their curtains.
Ramadan = a month of hungry Muslims and no-one else notices. "Come to Islam - We've got... hungry, horny people..." No sell.

Easter
Christian festival that became public parlance in most of the Western world and much of the Eastern.
Why is it irrational?
- Jesus died at some point, perhaps followed by a miracle or two. So a rabbit hides chocolate eggs. Real eggs are edible, but these need to be replicas. 'Hidden eggs' doesn't make sense (unless you are aware of nesting birds), so a rabbit hides them. They aren't rabbit eggs. Rabbit's don't lay them. Why a rabbit? Eggs are meant to be 'new life' and were blown hollow and painted, then this became dull to we commemorated the commemoration with chocolate replicas. It's also around the start of spring (in one hemisphere), so a rabbit was chosen (probably an original feast item, now a novel and cute delivery critter). Conclusion? Meaningless and very culture specific occurrence was corrupted beyond recognition, so now kids get fat and run around the garden annoyingly (but not enough to be slimmingly), with a very silly folklore, which is promoted as some kind of impossibly silly truth, until the child is old enough to remember that their parents are lyers.

Winter Solstice
(If you do celebrate this - as Katoomba in the Blue Mountains of Australia does) - to celebrate the shortest and coldest day, one goes out after work (or on a weekend) into the early dark and celebrates in a festival.
Irrational because: It is the time when it is LEAST wise to go out at night - longest and coldest night should not be celebrated in the streets - Bears sleep through this because it ISN'T fun.

Summer Solstice
There are some who celebrate this in hot climates throughout the day, if it falls on a weekend. When the sun is the hottest, do not celebrate this day outside in the middle of the day. The next day you will look back with fond memories of the time your friends all died from heat stroke. It commemorates survival.

Monarch/Head of State/National days
Monarchs are not special people - they are inbred and pampered upper-class people who either have no real power or too much power (because any power is too much for a monarch). Heads of state have an important job, for which they get paid. They have much pressure, with a nation of 'employers', but get over that by not listening to them at all. This works out fine, because they are often forgetful and easily swayed at the brief and widely dispersed election periods (at which the population doesn't even allocate said Head of State). Neither of these types of people, neither Monarchs nor Prime Ministers/Presidents, are abnormally intelligent, competent, iconic, heroic, nor noteworthy people. Do not treat them as demigods.
Regarding National days, patriotism is counter to globalism. The intercommunication of peoples and creation of trans-national group identities over the internet reduces stigma, discrimination and perception of  others as different, unacceptable or fearsome. Patriotism and nationalism create the necessity of an 'other' - those from whom resources must be taken, not shared, who must be invaded, not visited, and who must be with us or against us (egocentricity results in a country unable to believe that another country could be neutral toward them, or not care at all - or not have heard of them). While this does bring people together, it is at the exclusion of others. Why not keep National identity for conversation and the passport and celebrate humanity? Or Earthling, to be non-organism specific?

(and finally) Birthdays
See New Years - the final second of '65 years old' isn't different to the first second of '66 years old'. So you're one year further from being born and one year closer to death. Hurrah? You can mark years with any holiday, so why celebrate this one?
And so (on this topic) I introduce the final part:

What should you celebrate?

Well, I can answer that.

IMPORTANT Birthdays: The 'coming of age' has long been a ritualised ceremony in global traditions, but it is largely arbitrary in its placement, or entangled in folkloric assumptions and superstition.

You should celebrate: 

The birth of a child; with close friends and family of the parents; in order to give presents to those who are embarking upon an expensive, but community-beneficial practise of child-raising. Mass-publicise the name of the child at the event, so that the child is born into recognition within your social and familial circle.

The child's first memorable birthday; with close friends and family of the parents; in order to create a place of importance, community and support as one of the life-long and prestigious 'first memories'. Play novel songs for the first time in the child's life, including secret and uncommon songs played during womb growth (apparently increases familiarity and preference for songs/rhymes when heard post-natal) and create  surprising, exciting and loving instances for memory (make recordings of entire event).

Start of adolescence birthday; with child's friends and family; in order to create excitement, anticipation about and inform about coming changes. Share enjoyable and exciting memories about own/others' adolescences, teach skills for adolescence (dance moves, social tips, awkwardness cover-ups, dating advice).

End of physical and major brain growth birthday; with friends, family, family friends, important associates; celebration of maturity, chance for major familial and social decisions (inheritance and will discussions, legal discussions, career options, academic decisions, chance for speeches).

Start of menopause birthday; with friends and tactful/favoured family (not a day for mockery, tactless ridicule nor degradation); celebration of wisdom, new life stages, announcement of life priorities and celebration, and shared gratitude for earlier stages of life (as next stage will be the most important and meaningful, and not everyone gets a chance to reach and make the most of it). Speeches, fine food (quality, not quantity feasting, due to age preference) and celebration of life's achievements - vocational, creative, social, or personal.

Every birthday should be noted and congratulated. Cakes are for those who enjoy cake, but a favoured dessert should be the traditional course, not a specific one with which to generalise. For Parties and Gifts, see the following celebrations (which may or may not coincide with a birthday).

GIFTS AND FESTIVITIES

Equinox

To celebrate with friends internationally (but not interplanetary) - geographically with your nearer friends in a party of cold-to-warm or vice versa, and as a well-wishing or virtual get-together with cross-hemispheric friends of the opposite change. Celebrated twice a year as the first and second equinox, which may be vernal or autumnal depending on hemisphere (not mentioned in celebration, so as to improve global celebration). This celebration, while no longer warning of a change from frugality to plenty, does celebrate the reality of colder/hotter days to come and the regularity of change. 

Solstices

Summer: celebrate with close friends locally (as opposite in time to alternate hemisphere and other planets), at night (Which is extended and warmer) outside (if possible), with calmer festivity than equinox (So as to make equinox more impressive - like New Years to Easter).

Winter: celebrate with close friends locally, in the middle of the next weekend day, inside, with warm food and relaxed, social joviality.

Wake

Celebration of a life completed; held after funeral. Kept as they are with an implicit ban on sad remembrance of the loved-one's demise, with favour for joyful reflection upon the loved-one's life.

Profligacy

When a person gets a promotion, a payout, a prize, an inheritance or comes into abnormal wealth, they should hold a party. At this party, they are obliged to buy presents for those who have previously done so for them or for those who have aided them in a time of need. This builds social coherence, excited anticipation, motive for future comradery and a cost-sensible expenditure upon presents.

Cheering

When a person is in dire straights, they can hold a frugal get-together whereby friends and relatives are invited around to provide morale support and social bonding, along with discussion of the problem and brain-stormed remedy. These events can lead to community-wide fund raising, awareness campaigns or time strain-relieving from those with spare time. If any guest or invited person considers them self in comfortable finance, there is an implicit and unspoken request for assistance without necessity for embarrassment on either side, should assistance be omitted.

In Summary:

The main problem with modern festivity is its foundation in hollow economics and empty tradition. By its nature, tradition is a product of familiarity and repetition. These traditions can be started at any time, should a society deem them worth repeating. Many current traditions have neither a visible link to a noble and worthwhile origin, nor an underlying purpose in reality. By giving traditions purpose, their importance, worth and adherence may multiply. Furthermore, the festivities which I have mentioned can be celebrated by all and any religion, without prejudice, with placement for environmental awareness, inclusion and global identity. Furthermore, the remaining festivities remain salient, due to the lack of diluting sub-holidays, apparent in the myriad token events EVERY year.

The original economic reason for annual, spending-driven holidays was the combination of an origin formed by a successful marketing campaign via a canny company and annual governmental support due to the increased local spending surrounding the regular market competition increase (as was the case with consumerist Xmas, artificial Valentines Day, and the candy of Halloween). However, these trends now extend for over a month before and after Xmas, weeks either side of every minor 'one day' event and entire industries built upon the empty marketing itself (plastic Santas and 'Christmas lights'). These products cost money and resources to make, provide nothing for the consumer, and which represent the marketing which sold the product in a circular system which eats away at resources and pumps out money for no purpose. If these holidays were adhered to less, the factories might mass-produce products with inherent USE, reducing landfill and idiotic wastage of resources, with the same cashflow, but with less repetitive and lazy 'traditionalist' marketing, as companies compete for novel advertising and must-have products. With more money left over from reduced major-gift buying, people could buy more expensive things, driving the market demand to better products, resulting in better products dominating the market and factories turning from cheap shit production to part production for more ambitious and expensive designs. EG: Buy 5 santa hats and 60 Xmas lights, powered for a month, or buy an iPhone? If you buy an iphone, the santa hat and light people will produce parts for the better xPhone, which people buy for the same price as iPhone, because the factories are now competing for part-manufacture contracts. But if Xmas stays as it is, no xPhone is made, just santa hats which people wear every year because the same fat man in a fluffy suit told them to. The economy never really 'suffers' - a major depression is just a slow correction - reduction of christmas novelty production would be a quick and minor correction, resulting in a stronger global economy. Wow. Just spent ages answering a question that no-one asked. Still, glad that I wrote it.

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